Quiz (haven't done one in a while)

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.






... I hate this. It's like they know me *Uru-pouts at the makers of the quiz*

*grumbles*

--- WARNING: this post contains heavy, perhaps almost excessive, whining (in a twisted, matter-of-fact sort of packaging). Handle with care. ---



There's a persistant pain over my right eye (yes, the practically blind one), recurring nosebleeds, a moronic sort of muscle spasming in my legs and (predominantly) arms and neck (which has made me embarassed about partaking in public transportation), and lately I've also been getting the feeling that, for a split second, I don't have my bearings anymore (you know, like whether I'm vertical or at an angle, which way is up and down), after which my peripheral vision briefly disintegrates.

My body can kindly go throw itself off a high bridge (without me in it, of course. I still have important stuff to accomplish. Like write the "3 kinds of duck" RuRu fanfic).



On a happier note, this blog is almost three years old. Aaaaaawwww *huggles the darling*

Oh my gackt!

What follows is proof that Gackt is God (and the other way round, as well):

1. The power of logic
Lemming: So, in a battle between Gackt and God, who would win?
TP: *seemingly reluctant to answer because he is sensing a trick question*... Gackt?
Lemming: Uh-uh. Try again.
TP: *rolls eyes* I don't know. I give.
Lemming: Go on...!
TP: Fine. God?
Lemming: *triumphant smirk* Uh-uh. Because, you see, Gackt is God! Trick question, mofo!
TP *falls over from OD of dork*


2. If it's on teh interwebz, then it must be true!

... several pages into the first 'personalized*' Gazette fansite that I found, the webmistress shows her particular aweness to something-or-other by going "Ohmygackt!". Things are becoming clearer and I am definitely beginning to see the light.


3. Truth can be found in art

... halfway through chapter 5 of Ludwig Kakumei, and I come across this particular masterpiece:

*Rapunzel needs to be protected from a monster in the forest. Prince Silvio suggests a solution*

"Well, of course I'd elect bodyguards from my father's army, and install a system of 24-hour srveillance monitors..."

*everyone else sweatdrops heavily*

"You could even give her bodyguards like the ones Gackt has..."


And I do believe I am thus entitled to rest my case. I can henceforth bask in the certainty that, no, I am not just a(nother) deluded fangirl. The signs are everywhere, and all you have to do is open your eyes, minds and chakras and /read them./

Srsly, I'm like contemplating going to church now...


... but let's not push the joke all that far, ne? ^__* <-- *particularly deranged face*


__________________________________
* by "personalized" I merely meant that it was the first site to have comments from the admin interspersed inbetween all teh lurvely media and translations *goes off to stare at all the Aoi scans. Again.*

in which the lemming /again/ writes in bits, pieces and the third person

- 18 pages into the story, and Solanin has stolen my heart. Whoo, there it goes around that corner, and the red stuff dripping from its little black-and-white hands is not ketchup. Who woulda thought I was finally ready for seinen? Seriously, if this keeps up, you're gonna next see me ranting about Ergo Proxy (not sure if it's entirely seinen, tho), Serial Experiments Lain and Welcome to the NHS. (the above is not a whine, it is my to-read list ^__^. I can see how a novice could get the two mixed up ;>.>).


- first chorus into the song, and Moi Dix Mois's Angel ran away with my liver (because my heart was already gone. Actually, that's a bit wrong, because I heard Angel first and started on Solanin afterwards, but I'm learning that special special skill of prioritizing. Teh joy.)

I'll try to expand on the MDM phenomenon, not in the least because it was unexpected. It was kinda like getting your period all of a sudden, thinking "damn, it's early", and then realizing that it's not really, but that you actually haven't got the foggiest idea of what day it is. Or month, for that matter. Kinda like /that/ kind of unexpected.

I tumbled in love with MDM through La dix croix, drooled over some of their lives, liked Front et baiser enough to get some other random songs (from... somewhere. Can't remember. Not the jvk, that's for sure.) So, I have to ask myself looking back on those mornings when I would wake myself (and the surrounding floors of my appartment building) with the /strange/ (not to put too fine a point on it) riffs of LDC, why did I stop?

Judging from the "Jrock misc" folder in my bookmarks, I discovered Gackt just around then. That would explain quite a number of things (regarding reading, food and jewelery tastes, as well as new-found friendships, droolness over non-glittery vampires, an envy of Poland, a misunderstood phrase that sparked fervent Jgrammar studies for a while, and more tempered studies afterwards, and a burning desire to have a partition wall made out of beads - not anal - in my future house), but it didn't make too much headway into why I /entirely forgot/ about MDM.

And then Shizuka appeared in my life (the electrical appliance, not the assassin), and with it, MDM also reared its head from between all the indies. So I was on a bus*, coming home one night and that gorgeous-and-slightly-creepy man started singing the "tenshi no hane wa iroase hajimete no kotoba [etc]", and the entire shazzam with their fierce and dubious and gothic-victorian-androginous-mysterious image flashes through my mind and is replaced by... a person who is quiet, shy and, yeah, ok, a bit creepy, but kind. And he's trying, so hard, with that typical Japanese give-your-utmost-best perseverance, to get his message, his warning, across, but he doesn't know how. Because he never tried to express his feelings before, and now he can't find the words. So he resorts to that idiotic artifice of human communication - he repeats what he's trying to say, but what the other isn't understanding, in /exactly the same words/ - over and over, more forcefully or more despondently, but always the same.

Why find new words when you can just repeat the ones ingrained in your head over and over, until your brain dries out? (lemming is going through a phase where she feels that she's overly robotized when relationing to society. Yes, I need medication.)


- on a completely what-the-fuck note, the series of commercials currently running for the Penny Market supermarket chain makes me so depressed that I found myself staring at my tv screen in disbelief last night. (yes, I have taken to watching 20 - 30 minutes of tv once every couple of days. It ensures I'm up to date with the commercials, and can promptly annoy my friends by incessantly humming jingles.)

The whole deal with "what is this power? where does it come from? why do we only have it here?" makes me want to repeatedly bang my head against the nearest sharp corner of furniture available. So this is, supposedly, a comm for a cheap supermarket chain, where people (my brain interprets. Is it the only one?! O.o) finally have purchasing power to... you know, buy shit. Like something more than bread and water?! And the voiceover lady sounds so depressed-and-medicated-on-at-least-three-Xanax-pills-a-day that I can't help but picture a beggar buying yoghurt and Zewa-like toilet paper and rejoicing as he walks out (and steals the shopping cart while he's at it, because you should never diss a good shoppng cart. *rolls eyes*).

How can you... ooooh, groovy, I can't verbalize exactly what has me so worked up about it all... how can you minimize the financial problems of a large segment of the population (and, not to generalize, but judging from the tv stations where I've seen this comm run, also a key segment of your target audience), especially now, when a tidal wave of unadulterated economic shit is about to hit us, and make it out like it's fooking /magical/ to be able to buy oranges and chocolate pudding (or whatever) just because, you know, you couldn't do it before, you broke prick, but here we are, the good samaritans, and we're practically handing it to you on a fooking platter. Cause you're poor and we know it. And we're being bloody /magical/ about it. Bleh.

I clearly have too much free time on my hands...
_____________________________________________________________

* what is it with this combo: bus + night + lemming coming home + April = revelation?! Does so not compute. Yes, I'm aware a /year/ has passed since revelation nr. 1, and that rev nr. 2 has nothing to do with its predecessor whatsoever. Still... huh! *lemming deep-thinking pose*

in which the lemming...

... decides that putting out a cigarette is like Pokemon: you gotta catch'em all. And by all, I mean the cinders. Four and a half years of smoking, and I still can't put out a cigarette properly. Yay *dork*



... laments that she seems to be putting way too much sugar in her tea. Consequently, she seems to be gaining weight around the midriff section. Also laments that she doesn't seem to be able to drink tea otherwise - it feels like it's sticking to the back of my throat. Rejoices, however, in the knowledge that she's spending more and more time refering to herself in the third person. Hah.



... is pained by a loss, but is learning to let go. Since she always says that it's not healthy to run after people who simply have no more room in their lives for you. Oh, but she could bitch about it for hours ^__^. But she will not, because yet again she has gotten burned and is nursing her wounds in a bitter-old-lady-with-many-cats way.



... is determined to make e-memories, especially taking into account that her own memory is slipping, slowly but surely. Thus, last Sunday was:
- love for the IOR park, with all its sunny paths and trees in bloom
- being snowed upon by pink-ish petals
- having a shaorma picnic on the grass
- rollerblading once around the lake, after which we rested our weary bones - for we are geezers.
- huge crowds of people out for walkies. I can has walkies, yes I can!



... is pleased that, in the best "Divided we stand, united we... would probably poke each-other's eyes out" Wartsheep Clan tradition, she won't be spending her Easter without Mum. Good times.



... is reading more Jrock fanfiction than is mentally healthy, probably. I'm still waiting for the author / theme that will "enervate" me so much that it will prompt me to write my own. The world had /better/ look out, if that ever happens.



... is praying for Amsterdam. Secretly. Oh please oh please oh please, pull through, pull through, oh ploxx.



... is wishing her beloved the happiest birthday evavah! O-tanjoubi omedetto gozaimasu, Tp-kun! (spelling mistakes and all :P)



... is (still) putting off writing about Lupeni, because she has no carrot (read: pictures) to motivate her. Tudor kinda said it all - and beautifully at that. Waaaah, teh purdy purdy place, with teh lurvely lurvely pplz0r!

... ohboi

There we go, she's gone in, now all I can do is wait and keep my fingers crossed. And try not to give in to the sudden desire to vomit. Hoshit.

Oh please oh please oh please let her be alright.



________
________
________

Later edit: Almost two and a half hours later, and she's ok. She's aching and stuff, but she's alive. We're in for better times (if it's not too much to hope for). Thank you thank you thank you.

Life in Jrock land is sometimes unexpected

So it turns out that even in Jrock land, it's not /all/ about the yaoi.

While browsing the interwebz today (pretending to work), I came across a piece of news that left me going "hmmm... [pauza pauza pauza] aaaawww!". Who would have thought one of the goofiest, most childish (in persona, at least, if not irl) people in the industry would get /married/. And he's even having a kid. I found that so sweet, and endearing, and... you know, fluffy. Really really fluffy. Oh, and by the way, the chick is fucking gorgeous! (just needed to clarify that little bit of news.)

Also (connected to this), I came across the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen in my life. I think that from now on, when I feel down or grumpy or whatever, I'll just go back to that page and take a peek at them - and the world will probably seem like a nicer place, at least for a few moments, like it did the first time I laid eyes on them. Expressive, warm, personal, honest to the point of vulnerability. All in all, enough fluff to choke the average person (or temporarily pacify a hyperactive fangirl, like the one writing the present post. Aaaaaw.)

There - the pics are halfway down the page, in case you also need an overdose of the "ping-pong".




[in retrospect, I can almost hear the cynical!lemming grumbling about how spring is doing all sorts of funky stuff to its brain, and it's turning into a *gasp* romantic. Apocalypse will probably follow shortly. I'll keep you posted when I spy the first of the Riders.]


[I'll write about the past weekend when I get the pictures. *Jumps up and down and yells* TUUUDOOOOOOOR!!!1shiftone! :D Oh, how I need to write about last weekend!]