cusuta cu ata la gura

fara prea mari introduceri, ma f*t in ea de viata, si o dau si cu capul de toti peretii, ca sa stie o chestie.
programmed for after sesiune: nervous breakdown, biggie time

thoughts of the day

1. i smell of tp, and i can't think of a lovelier scent... ever.

2. i sorta feel i'm committing a blasfemy for writing this, but it's swimming in my head and i can't seem to shake it. "I heard of a man who says words so beautifully that if he only speaks their name, women give themselves to him. If I am dumb beside your body while silence blosoms like tumors on our lips, it is because I hear a man climb the stairs and clear his throat outside our door."

3. whenever i'm alone with you, you make me feel like i'm home again, whole again, young again, fun again, free again, clean again. i will always love you

the trousers of time

i had an odd dream. i was walking around some rooms of a house, all of them with huge, ceiling-to-floor windows. there should have been a lot of light, but it was either dusk, or just cloudy, because the light was morose and little to speak of. i was semi-scared, cold and clutching something black at my chest (i think it was a t-shirt or annorak or smth or whatever you spell that :P). i could hear music coming from somewhere, the only sign that the house was inhabited. i wanted to find the people who were singing (because it was live, not recorded). i just wanted to find the room, crack the door open and take a look. if i didn't like what i saw, i could run away. the option was very well-instilled into my brain, and i was more than half afraid that i really would not like what i saw. from time to time they stopped, and i could hear laughter, or the lack of sound that marked a breather. i kept my face burried in the black cloth i was hugging. there was another tune humming in my head, very different from what the mystery-people were singing. i wanted to somehow be able to hug the tune as well. i never made it to that room.

i didn't actually dream all this. but i very well could have. it's really just a mettyfor for things that i can't just come out and say without hurting some feelings, and probably mine in the process. a while ago, i actually wanted to post something here about how i was feeling two lemmings travelling on their separate paths down the trousers of time. i had funny snippets of dreams, avoided hitting my head against a pipe at the very last moment but still felt a resemblance of pain where my eye should have connected with metal, remembering i had to do something that was a consequence of something i hadn't actually done, and so on.

it all calmed down after a couple of days, but i wish it would all come back. at least it would signal the fact that another lemming has done something about something. it would be a bit like cheating, but only provided i could actually get a sense of how the action-lemming is actually feeling. however, what is there really to do?

I wonder if i'd invite myself to my own wedding...

present for 30 monthses

somn usor, vise placute, purecii sa te sarute, sapte purici pe-un picior si unul dupa ureche, ca sa fie cu pereche *snuggles*

lemmingu la mare se intoarce (pe burta, pentru cunoscatori :P)

lemmingu la mare

near-death experience (tm :P) for new-year's. the best time i've had in a long time. thank you, angel, for making all my mofturi come true.