Thanksgiving Day - the early and slightly skewed lemming version

I wake up every morning and tell myself that "this is the day when I will write this post". But since, as everyone who ever met me probably knows, I am by no means a morning person, I lack the energy to do so.

And then evening comes, and I find myself walking home at that time of day when night has fallen, but there's still some light left in the air (every-fooking-day for the last two weeks or so. I swear I am becoming activityholic, or something). And while walking home, you see, I invariably take the same route. It takes me through the large intersection and down my street, that street which has not been everyone's-normal-definition-of-quiet in years, the street with narrow sidewalks and lots of trees and wild roses. And while walking (always on the left-hand sidewalk), I look up at the sky which you can see in the gap between the appartment buildings on the right. And the sky, for the past month or so, is this amazing shade of blue. It's not "blue like something" - not even sky-blue (since that's daylight-sky-blue, right?). But it's so deep, and so scary, and so strong a colour, that it reminds me, instantly, what an amazing year I've been having, and all the things I have to be thankful for. (for some reason which doesn't need to really exist, kinda like one of those goat - pudding - garden gnome mental associations)

Like Amsterdam. Like discovering the Gazette. Like my new-found obsession with Kuroko no Basket, Solanin and seinen manga in general. Like finding freedom in constraining circumstances. Like working for things I love and I'm proud of. Like the Motoare not closing down. Like playing Talisman with the gang. Like drinking strong-ass coffee with lots of milk early in the morning. Like waking up after two consecutive nightmares (one of which involving my mother dying, and one provoking self-hatred because it was so damned /interesting/, and yet I couldn't remember it and write it down) and /not/ having one of them diagnosable anxiety attacks that were so frequent in the past. Like feeling I can do anything, go anywhere - that the world belongs to me. "Man proposes, God disposes", says Kuroko, and though I still have some doubt about who exactly it is that is doing all the "disposing", I'm all for the "proposing" - the sky's the limit, and all you need is metaphysical ballz. Like reading some amazing amazing books lately, jumping from one glorious masterpiece to another and being all tickled inside when I look next to my bed, at my to-read pile, which is currently only slightly taller than bed+me on it. Like discovering the BEST BEST BEST fanfiction writer ever existing on the interwebz (and I am, for once, not exaggerating in the "best song/movie/book evah-EVAH" lemmingTM fashion) - a writer who has brought me out of lows, induced highs, made me laugh and cry (irl, not just on the inside), and has kept me fooking hooked to whatever s/he writes. Of course, what sucks is that now I can't read any other fanfics without instantly scoffing - even for people I had previously admired and fawned over, writing-style-wise. Talk about being spoiled by goodness.

I be happy camper, and this happy-campingness has been lasting me since, oh, you know, the beginning of the /year/! Lala-freaking-laaaaa, bring on the pink ponies and rainbows and shit, because I need a backdrop against which to sing a yoddle, musical-muppet-play-style. Yay for sillines!

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Oh, yes. Could the deja-vu's kindly go kill themselves and leave me the fuck alone? I had even almost kinda gotten used to the idea of having one per day, but this is jumping-over-the-proverbial-horse, my lovelies. Fuck off.