...or something

Under the title "liek, whoa!":

Apparently people /do/ visit this blog! I could not believe my four eyes (six, if you count the inner lemming's) when I saw the statistics. It made me sorta happy. And sorta worried (because I can sometimes succomb to the temptation of writing the most unadulterated /crap/ on this blog, but yeah, you know, that's me: should've had brown eyes instead of blue - agian, much love for that funny, funny man - ).

And it also made me sorta sad that many didn't bother to "say hi" (by that, I mean, leave a comment. Even if it's along the lines of "Dude, you suck, get a life". That's common knowledge already, anyway...)

But, meh, *hopeful looks in the direction of ghostly visitors* we all thrive off feed-back, in the end. (or so I was taught at this lovely, lovely training session)

Ok, back to work. This darn-beboggled leaflet is going to leave me bald, and with hepatitis (erm, yeah. Drama queen mode activated).

/procrastination

Drawing a thin line

I'm holding a pencil in my hand. Yegads, this feels good. Just taking my time studying what I'm going to draw, then giving it undivided attention. I suppose I shouldn't dwell on it too much, or else the joy of it will be spoiled.

Looking back, I can feel a certain change in the way I'm writing. I was out with a friend today, having lunch (how /girly/!) and she was having fun spooking me about how I'll be a full-fledged adult in less than six months. I get anxiety attacks just thinking about it. Just like my phobia of seeing a picture of the World. (aaah, you don't know about this one, do you?)

I've always had this thing, whenever I see an image of the Earth as seen from outer space. It freaks me out to such an extent, that I start hyperventilating and feeling cold and wanting to cry (mmmm...no. Don't go there, Gin. I probably did /not/ have traumatic experiences while in the womb, nor did I ever see my parents naked - individually /or/ playing horsie, thank you very much.)

So yeah, being a grown-up is kinda like that. For the first time in my life - and probably thanks to all the info I've been acquiring since I started doing volunteering work - I can actually feel the world stretching out in front of me. Anywhere is a possibility. Belgium? Why not? Holland, you say? Could be... Japan? Aaaah, yes, the land of glory. And yet I doubt that I've ever felt less motivated than I do now. I don't want to go to school, I don't want to get a job, I don't want to start working on my thesis paper (and the fact that senpai has been bitten by that bug just goes to prove how ubercool she is, and the extent of my suckiness *hangs head in sorrow* I am unworthy. And those AMV's you gave me will be the death of me. So thank you!!!) <- *is dysfunctional*

Of course, there's also the problem with tp, and his having one more year of school, and what are we going to do about /that/? Because, in the best sense of lemming tradition, (probably especially because I know it can't be done, or it will be difficult to) I have this /uuuuurge/ to go. Just go. Pack up and move. Do something stupid. Have a tour of every single temple in Asia. Go eat at every McDonald's in South America. /Something/. Because I feel my life is coming to an end (no, I'm not dying just yet. Probably. Though seeing that trolley-bus going down my street might be a sign, saaaa....), and I'm scared shitless about it. What am I going to do?

I know I said I'll rant about Yami no Matsuei, and Cultural Institutes in Bucharest, and (for some odd reason I can't remember) old ladies, but I'll keep it short, since I'm not in the mood (and I have this anally violating deadline for a project. Yes, it /is/ partly my fault, but even if I'd seen the mail earlier, I still wouldn't have had time to start on it. In the end, this is the same reason as the one for which I didn't see the mail... Duhi!)

And btw @ anally violating. Duuuude, I saw this hentai manga done after Ichigo 100%... Can I NOT EVER have to associate /those/ images ever again, pleasekthanks?

Yami no Matsuei kinda rocked my foundations. Both in the "rock on, dude \m/" way, and the "earthquaky" one. Those people are soooo... what's the word? Un-frustrated. Or, even if they are, they act it out in such an honest and unassuming way (see Tatsuki being in love with Tsuzuki). And, just as I was saying in Deko (btw, unrelated: people, don't go to Cafe Deko! It kinda sucks.), they move in a way that suggests they've completely accepted who and what they are, that they have no sexual frustrations, that they're fine with the way they look and the way other people perceive them in. Plus, Tsuzuki's hot and Hisoka is discussion-cannon-fodder to last us the rest of our lives. Or at least mine.

I love the way I can just clear up all my ideas just by talking to senpai. Talking to you makes me feel really good about really confusing stuff *glomps*

Cultural Institutes in Bucharest are something out of this world. The British Council is kinda the best as far as client service is concerned (though being the best of the worse is no reason for pride where I'm standing), at least among the ones I frequent. Of course, they have their shortcomings, but shit like that which has happened to Gabi on several occasions has never happened to me (or if it did, I very logically and very /determinately/ requested that the matter be put to right. It's cool to be a bitch. Dad was so proud of me today :* ).

The French Institute is a blob of unorganized personnel (librarians who don't know their own books, look spaced out/stoned, and have noooooo incentive to help you / be nice to you whatsoever.) with few resources. Their only redeeming feature is that their prices are low compared to, say, my next topic of rant/complaint. As they say, "it's worth whatever you pay for it", ne?

And now, und jetzt, geehrte Damen und Herren, it's time for the Goethe Institute. Yegads, what happened there on sign-up day (when we were supposed to take part in the "inscrieri pentru fostii cursanti" - signing up for new courses, held exclusively for people who weren't on their first Goethe course) was a blast. Seriously, you should have been there. You should have stood on the barricades with the rest of us, get the medals and the t-shirts and the hits and roll with the puches like we didAnd I am maintaining my heart-felt belief, that Frau Militaru (or whatever that blasted woman's name is) is several screws short of a barrel of crazy monkeys (no, that phrase was not meant to mean anything. Neither is anything she says/does.)

For details on any of the above, I shall provide if there are those who want to hear it. (i.e.: not here. Mi-e lene. :|)

Oh yes, and I remembered about the old ladies: if I'd had any innocence left, I could have safely said it ended the day when an old lady looking like a textbook illustration of the grandma I never had, but always wanted, tried to stop me on the street to ask for the time. Since I was about to keep half-running/half-jogging past her (normal walking speed for the lemming that's always tardy after leaving home waaay to early. Care to explain, anyone who knows quantum physics?), she called out the most world-shattering phrase I've ever heard: "I'm not begging, miss. I just want to know what time it is." I wanted to kneel before her, apologize for every thought in my head, and cry. Maybe then I'll have found redemption.

Redemption is a loaf of bread, fresh out of the oven. Now stop reading my moronic rants and go do something useful - listen to Three Days Grace - Let you down. *shivers semi-orgasmically*

Environment vs. Heredity

Can you see me, standing here in the middle? With that unerring instinct of the socially undecided, choosing the exact intersection point between the bisectoare and the what-was-the-name-of-the-other-thingummy?

Why can't I ever make up my bloody mind? Even subconsciously? My way of being is clearly that of an implementator. I work hard to accomplish tasks that others set before me, and I have no problem with that. I actually like the safety and mellow-ness that derive from that position.

However, I was indoctrinated with the principles of a person that takes the lead (which is something different from leader, at least from where I'm standing), which makes me have principles driving me that are not backed up by abilities or human nature.

In other words, the inner hamster knows when to take initiative and get a group up and running. But what follows should help maintain this status quo, not destroy it. Urgh, I don't know how to express myself any better than this. I don't have what it takes to be a leader, but I was taught that this is the only role in which one would ever be successful. Can't I, just for once, just this one time, maybe, perhaps, please, not have to feel that "I can do it better than you, I know exactly how we should do this, so follow me!"? Pretty please? I'll give my subconscious candies if it just leaves me alone for the next couple of months.

Kthanksbye.

Goodbye, halcion days

Two concerts in two days. Pffff... what was I thinking?

Alias was cool. I mean, I hadn't expected that. I don't know exactly what I /was/ expecting, but not that degree of coolness. The chitarist kicked ass in the most profuse of ways, Razvan ruled as per usual, and the vocalist was actually cool. Disregarded: cold, hunger (which was solved through tp's kindness), loooong day (more than 12 hours of being out of the house), tiring session at IGC, snow while I was wearing my thinnest pair of trousers, ensuing urinary infection. I dare myself to laugh /this/ off.

Kumm were the bomboana pe coliva. I still haven't come to terms with what happened on Saturday. Did they suck? Was the sound system badly set? (though tp assured me that was not the case) Did they just fail to communicate that lovely magic to the crowd? (the people seemed to be enjoying themselves, though) Was I too tired? Had tp really managed to dampen my mood that much?

I don't get what happened. But whatever happened made me come to several resolutions and conclusions about my fangirly concert-going joy. The first is that, however sad it may be that I have no friends who share my taste in Romanian music, I should stop dragging unsuspecting victims to concerts they don't want to attend in the first place. In case of "or else", the outcome will never be more than a variation of what happened on Saturday. The second is, in correlation with the above, that I am swearing off concerts for a while (simply because I can't enjoy myself if the person(s) accompanying me aren't having fun as well. And rather than to be put in a situation similar to the Saturday one, I prefer not going). I shall probably continue being the spastic groupie when (1) I will have a car, (2) I will live by myself (sans parents) and (3) I will get it out of my system that going by yourself isn't all /that/ bad. (read: I still have a loooooooooong way to go. Meh, it was fun while it lasted)

So yeah. Oh, and talking about the title, no, I am not turning into Orihime. Though if Ulquiorra came to get me, I'd probably ask him if I could spend the 12-hour grace period humping him instead of going about town in a brainwashed type of trance (hehehehehe) and drooling over the dumbass.

Vineeeeeee!

Cluj! Cluuuuj! Cluj fairy princess!!! :))

Plec peste 6 ore (adica la inumana ora de 23.20). And tomorrow morning, we'll be there, enjoying the beauty of that city, the intoxicating quiet and the joy of discovery and the inquisitiveness of the peacefully sedated (that being me, after a week of holiday. As opposed to my normal, almost aggressive and semi-dangerous curiosity, this is going to be as innocent as a new-born Tsuzuki - beautiful, and with great destructive potential).

Upcoming posts about Yami no Matsuei, little old ladies in Bucharest, musings on our upcoming "mascota de Bucuresti" and a lovely overview of the Cultural Institutes in my lovely city (British Council, the French Institute and - all-time favourite - the Goethe Institute). For they will buuuuuuurn.

Ja ne!

peseu: I hope we don't get robbed on the train. It's been nagging me for a while now. :|

Anime Awards

And here we are, still alive after Sesiune (barely). Since 2007 has been a more than productive year as far as anime-watching is concerned, I've decided that I might as well amuse myself by writing an "Anime Awards" post - with the most random and dumbass categories ever (but, as the poet says, "don't ask" =))...)

best fandom to be obsessed about - Loveless. Hands down and no qualms about it. And this comes from a person that suffers from the "fangirl" syndrome. But nothing beats the beauty that is Loveless - with its mystery, angst, drama, smiles and sniffles, the sweetest main character ever, and the most basket-case main-character-number-two. And nothing will ever beat the butterflies (haha, get it? *dork*) in my stomach when I check the scanlation update page each month. God, I wish they sold this manga here as well...

best angst in fandom - I was like /whoa/ when I realized I can't decide. But as much as I adore the SoubixRitsuka angst and Emospada-sama, I should say... Sukisyo. Because it was the most... human, and /real/ of them all. Because I didn't have to swallow any bits of the plot whole. And because Shinichiro is such a /doll/.

Best angst [character] - two winners sharing this trophy - Agatsuma Soubi and Fujimori Sunao. They left him behind, oh god, they left him behind and just /ran away/ *sobs*

best comedy fandom - need I say it? Ouran Highschool Host Club. But, dang, have you /seen/ the last chapter of the manga? I wanted to murdify Haruhi.

best comic character - This was a tough choice (weren't they all :))...), going between the Hitachiin twins and Kaidou Kio. The winner, however, was the Kaoru - Hikaru pair (but they'll have to /share/ a prize. There!)

best unexpected comic relief character - Hayato Ike (Shakugan no Shana 1 and 2). I mean, what was /up/ with the whole going-to-the-amusement-park thing? And the school-festival episode? (which only go to prove my theory regarding /all/ anime having like a narative imperative or something, to contain one episode of an outing to an amusement park and/or an episode of a school festival. I'm actually surprised Bleach didn't have to go through this... yet.)

best shounen-ai pairing - because I am twisted. Answer - Yoru and Ran (Sukisyo). *shudders* ooo, teh lurve. Also to be metioned: Kaoru and Hikaru (in an AU of some sort) and Shindou Shuuichi and Yuki Eiri. And, of course, Yumichika and Hisagi Shuuhei (as peroxidepest17 writes them. hah!)

best het pairing - oi, /is/ there such a thing in anime?! If I could have it my way - Ichimaru Gin x Matsumoto Rangiku and Lucy x Kouta (Elfen Lied).

best fandom in terms of bishounen - Loveless. Because /nothing/ keeps me up at night like the thought of those guys.

best anime chick - Shihouin Yoruichi. For she is gorgeous, and strong, and determined, and a /woman/, for all it stands (weaknesses included. Though I can see how Urahara Kisuke can be a weakness - in the knees, for me, but any other part is fine, love). And more than anything, because she is not yet another "dumb broad", like most female characters.

best cross-dresser - Fujimori Sunao. Even though he was drawn that way. Abarai Renji has potential, too ( =)) *dies*)

best AMV-generating fandom - Loveless (again). No explanation necessary. An account on amv.org is free (or so they say :-* *loves senpai*)

best fanfic-generating fandom - need I say it? *is embarassed* Loveless. Oh lord, the angst, the angst!!one!

best action fandom - Bleach. "For the pain and the sorrow, caused by my mistakes, won't repent to a mortal whom is all to blame..."

best fantasy / sci-fi - Elfen Liedddddddd and Trinity Blood.

best "wtf?! where did the plot go" - Trinity Blood, for Abel and Ion ending up on Mars. Erm... yeah.

best "what the hell happened in the end to the main character?!" - Black Cat (note: for both this category and the one directly above - and for all anime here generally - these "awards" are based on anime!verse /only/ - not manga. Except for Loveless. That's special *drools*)

best future bishounen [when he grows up] - Aoyagi Ritsuka. Heh, can you tell this was a category made especially for him? (though there was a surprising number of contenders for this one... Hyuuga Natsume will now murder me in my sleep because I didn't choose him.)

biggest anime dumb chick - Esther Blanchett (Trinity Blood). Ye gads, can you say "shimpu-sama! kaka!" (or whatever you spell that :)). )

best anime to be a Mary Sue in - *goes off chanting* Bleach! Bleach! Bleach fairy princess... (because the characters are all so loveable, and so diverse, and so bloomin' special, that I'd looove to meet them)

best character to cosplay as - Abarai Renji. But I'd like to keep the tattoos. And my hair colour almost matches anyway.

anime chick I'd like to date - Again, Shihouin Yoruichi. Because her character type (no, not her, per se. I have yet to fall so deep into my obsession to /worship/ a fictional, drawn person.) is respect- and praise-worthy, because she is strong and vulnerable, and because she looked damn /hot/ on her date with Urahara.

anime bishounen I'd date - Agatsuma Soubi, hands down. (don't care if he has a shota complex. I can be chibi if I try, ne?)

anime imba character - Kenpachi Zaraki. Beautiful man, ne? *bat eyelashes*

anime character I'd send to councelling [does not apply if he/she is already receiving councelling] - Aoyagi Seimei. Bah, I don't want to get into it.

character I's like to kill. Kill him ded. With a rock - Persona (Gakuen Alice). I was going to write "Seimei" for this again, but I figured he deserves a second chance, what with him being Ritsuka's nii-chan and everything. I can already envisage kicking myself in the mouth for this choice, several more chapters into Loveless :))

anime character I'd like to look like - Aoyagi Ritsuka. I'm actually making a conscious effort (no, I'm not wearing fake cat ears). He's just, sort of, the ideal of beauty (at least for the kid in me). Of course, if this had a sub-category of "anime character whose smouldering glances I'd like to be able to give off", Kuchiki Byakuya and Hyuuga Natsume would be having a... staring contest-to-the-death right now. And the winner would prolly be Hitsugaya =))

Best unrequitted-love pairing - Soubi and Kio. Though I'm beginning to believe more and more that Kio's homosexual innuendos are just for show, and that he loves Soubi in a different way. But where would half the fandom be without that little bit of canon-fodder? And where would I get my angst!supply?

best OOC pairing - Renji x Ichigo :)). Nah, I'm (only half-) joking. Orihime x Ulquiorra (senpai's fault again).

character I'd like to kick in the head [for being stupid] - Sakura Mikkan. Ye gads! (but she's got an excuse - she's still young, and so has plenty of time to come to her senses. And besides, she's done a shitload of good for everyone around her. She's like a spastic ray of sunshine... but a handful at times)

Pairing that should become canon - Emiya Shirou x Saber (Fate Stay Night). Because the whole "Shirou! Saber!" routine still gives me migraines. So they should just hook up, get laid, and /get it out of their systems/.

pairing that should never have happened / should never happen - Hitsugaya Toushirou x Hinamori Momo. Or anyone with Hinamori, for that matter. That chick is bland. her motivations have no real logical, emotional or cognitive basis, and she plain sux. (heartfelt, half-objective opinion)

best mysterious character - Between Urahara, Seimei, Ritsu-sensei and Nisei, who /am/ I going to choose?! Urahara, definitely. Because he's loveable, and too intelligent to ever fully reveal his motives (motives aside, his means are simply cool!)

And as they say, that was that was that. It would be neat if senpai would like to do this too (provided she has time enough and has had her fascination perked by this. You can leave aside all the sillier categories :P). Till next year...