Environment vs. Heredity
Can you see me, standing here in the middle? With that unerring instinct of the socially undecided, choosing the exact intersection point between the bisectoare and the what-was-the-name-of-the-other-thingummy?
Why can't I ever make up my bloody mind? Even subconsciously? My way of being is clearly that of an implementator. I work hard to accomplish tasks that others set before me, and I have no problem with that. I actually like the safety and mellow-ness that derive from that position.
However, I was indoctrinated with the principles of a person that takes the lead (which is something different from leader, at least from where I'm standing), which makes me have principles driving me that are not backed up by abilities or human nature.
In other words, the inner hamster knows when to take initiative and get a group up and running. But what follows should help maintain this status quo, not destroy it. Urgh, I don't know how to express myself any better than this. I don't have what it takes to be a leader, but I was taught that this is the only role in which one would ever be successful. Can't I, just for once, just this one time, maybe, perhaps, please, not have to feel that "I can do it better than you, I know exactly how we should do this, so follow me!"? Pretty please? I'll give my subconscious candies if it just leaves me alone for the next couple of months.
Kthanksbye.
Labels: why me/why not
posted by lemming @ Monday, February 18, 2008
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Might I butt in, as I'm wont to do? (well, not really, but I'm trying to learn)
First off, what in the world makes you think that said principles aren't backed by abilities? Human nature I can understand, seeing as it's difficult to be objective, and of course one tends to sell oneself short (well, this applies if one is of a certain frame of mind and presents certain tendencies in self-judgement which shall not be addressed here *prepares boot for later use*) but the abilities bit leaves me a bit baffled, sorry.
As to the human nature itself, eto... that sorta leaves me a bit baffled too, unless you'd be willing to, perhaps, provide actual exemplification to be debated, dissected and learned from till there's nothing left of it but shivering wrecks. If'n you'd be willing to, of course. *shifts eyes round and round in fear of overstepping invisible bounds*
Also, the tendency to want to lead others or at least point the way when it's *painfully* *obvious* that they're heading in the wrong direction or simply moving by way of quite inappropriate walking ...um... things, is quite unlikely to be going away. Hell, I have it around my *bosses* sometimes, even if I KNOW, rationally speaking, that they have much more experience than me and are much better informed on the matter at hand. What I think you could do, however, is discover which tune you could hum in your mind to cheerfully ignore the impulse to speak up. I think the tune is called "not caring" but I'm not completely sure yet.
*ends 2 cent donation*
*Hugs u*
Kbye!
Dani
:)) I don't know whether to laugh at how sweet that was or run away in cowardly terror of the boot... the booot!!! Argh!
Acuma serios:
1. please butt in. *proceeds to make senpai butting-in space* I'm so happy when I get comments from you.
2. Pfff... exemplificare is hard to provide. It's more of a state of mind than an actual intamplare. I went to a training session this last weekend. And there I can has revelashionz. But I'll get over it. Because I sorta bounce back (with a little help form my friends, vorba cantecului *obvious wink at senpai*).
Consider this the onset of the shivering wreck-making workshop :))
Huggling you too (and no worries, mate: the time of reverse psihanaliza will come, and no mistake :P). And huggling you again, just for good measure.
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