bunicule, finalgonul!

There's so much pain around me... It's like an unhealed wound that I can see bleeding. People who hurt, people who hurt themselves, innocent, all of them, because, in the end, too few people really deserve what happens to them.

There was no fussing when I hurt. There's only that all-around agreement to "act normally, ignore the problem, she'll get over it". And I suppose I do. But I also want to do what I can for others, so they don't get to feel that algocalmin-la-fiola taste in their mouth. Even if, sometimes, they don't want me to.

What can I do? I suck at giving advice, but that doesn't sometimes prevent me from doing so anyway. But mostly... I kid around. I play a role, so that people will, at least for a little while, forget what's troubling them, go back to brooding with an uncreased forehead, perhaps figure themselves out. It hurts me to know that someone's dad died, that someone else was not old enough to ever have met his, that someone is dying, that someone else is trying not to, that someone's dad is a violent alcoholic. That shit happens by the bucketfull. We really should profit from every time a bird poops on us (has been happening a lot lately :D) to remember that time-honoured philosophy of "luckily, cows don't fly".

As an afterthought, I wish that people would STOP taking my sunny disposition for granted and be personally offended when I'm sick/tired/with problems/PMS-ing/just not in the mood. It happens so rarely, anyway... I wish there was someone doing for me what I try to do for the ones I love. Probably this is the real reason I do it, after all. We're narcissists, all of us. :|