The truth about Jrock

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Warning: this is a crack rant. Please do not be offended by the following.

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1. there are 16 musicians in the whole of Japan
2. of these, one is dead (hide)
3. so that leaves a total of 15
4. in the begining, there were only 5, who formed X Japan
5. due to some alien experiments, they divided into already-fully-grown clones
(who, in order to hide this fact, dyed and cut their hair differently)
6. everybody's been in pretty much every band
7. at a certain given point, the lead singer is obliged to leave the band and start a brief solo career during which he sings jpop
8. during a combined concert some time later, the now solo lead singer meets the guitarist of another band, and together they realize that they have "the same vision and ideals" regarding music. So they start a temporary project band.
9. this project band also includes 3 or 4 more support musicians (all being ex-[insert band-name here])
10. repeat process until world end. Or infinity. Whichever comes first.
11. at some point, some new guys appear, calling themselves alice nine. But they're new, so no one pays them any attention
12. qed. jrock evolution. stay tuned

oh yeah, 6 prime. 90% of band-names are in languages that are:
a) European
b) no one in the band speaks
c) the harder to pronounce in Japanese, the better
d) the more non-sensical in that language, the better
e) Should they contain a misspelled word, that's even better, because the fangirls will thusly be kept busy arguing whether it was just a mistake or if it holds some deeper, absconse meaning - see moi dix mois album "tentation". Or, generally "moi dix mois".


Thank you for your attention. I shall now be off to drool some more. ^__^