Lemming cleaning up her room

Yep, that wonderful once-every-four-years time when the lemming grabs all her school books and notes and shit and makes a bonfire out of them in her front yard! With pole-dancing and cookies and pumpkin juice! (um... not really, not in the least because I don't /have/ a yard. What I actually do is grab armfulls of the foul stuff and throw them in teh dumpsteh. ^__^ )

So going through the papers carefully, since I have this bad tendency of writing /important/ things on scraps of paper/book pages/etc, I came across a piece of paper that made my day. I actually do vaguely remember reading one of the Harry Potter books (translated in Romanian by that wonderful woman Iepureanu, whose butchering/assassination skills of the English language are as of yet unparalelled, at least in my small limited world) with a sheet of paper next to me, in order to jot down what I found particularly amazing, funneh or plain awe-inspiring in the way of translating epic fail.

I'd like to apologize to non-Romanian-speaking people, because you'll just have to miss out on this joke of near-cosmic proportions. Just take my word for it - it's bad. It's also really really /sad/. Of course, I may have just missed out on some rather /expansive/ chunks of my own mother tongue. That can happen, right? >.>

I don't remember much about the context these phrases were taken from (heck, I don't even remember the book. It must have been the sixth, though, because of the whole "scales=solzi" debacle. So I'll just transcribe directly what was on the sheet, lemming notes and all.) Some are "false friends", some are plain non-existent in the Romanian language, some are just poorly worded for a (primarily) kids' book. And don't argue with me on that last one. Anything licensed to Edmond (or Egmond or whatever the name of the publishing house is) /is/ primarily a kids' book.

Without further ado...

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- fara a lasa sa transpara nici un semn de neliniste

- se intreba cand avea sa sune nenorocitul ala

- prin crapatura usii vazura o fasie dintr-un barbat, cu chipul incadrat de doua perdele de par negru, era palid si cu ochii negri (frazeologie FTW!)

- vrajitor-sef al Vrajustitiei (the Vajthatz lady strikes again! Woot!)

- chip calos (I can only assume this came from "callous". KEK!)

- cemaifacimaibaiete (WTS arm and leg to see what generated /this/ masterpiece)

- o frumusete rapitoare, care iti taia respiratia

- macar Tonks are simtul umorului si este amuzanta (redundant beta-ing much?)

- trialul de Quidditch (ce s-a gasit fata noastra sa romanizeze...)

- scales = solzi. This will never ever /ever/ cease making me laugh

- Ron reusise niste parade cu adevarat spectaculoase. (prob. de la "a para", although... KEK MAMU!)

- McLadden "s-a dus dupa tigari" - when Hermione threw the Confundus curse (L/N 2008: what, that seriously was in the book?! Even I can't believe it =))....)

- macheta stranie si penata (adica cu pene, conform d-soarei Iepureanu) a sistemului solar

- pentru ca fata (din context, era vorba de Ron =))))))))) lolz0r) nu patise nimic grav, fiindu-i administrat antidotul imediat (well, I /know/ he's a pussy, but come /on/, woman!)

- durere leshinatoare. No words, no comment.

- cand spui ca aveti o multime de lucruri in comun, vrei sa spui ca si el traieste in curbura in forma de U? (what. the. fuckz0r.)


- Dumbledore gemu si incepu sa geama (no, you don't say... Liek srsly now, ever heard of a Beta?!)

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So yeah. I'm still laughing. You should, too, unless you fail to see this funny and perceive it as bloody sad instead. In that case: 1. you are emo or 2. you're too busy packing your bags and running away from this "picior de plai, gura de rai" land of all grammar&vocabulary possibilities. In that case, see you on the other side.